You were never the problem.
Specialized therapy for attachment and relational issues.
Certified Complex Trauma Professional | Private Pay Telehealth in Arizona | Trauma Recovery Coaching Nationwide
The patterns are not your fault.
How do I keep ending up here with people? Why haven't I met someone that treats me well? Maybe I have a bad picker. My attachment quiz said I have an anxious attachment style — I need to find a way to be more secure.
You want to feel something with people. You are desperate to connect but absolutely terrified to let anyone in. Or maybe you have gone the other direction entirely and you’ve kept people at a careful distance and told yourself you prefer it that way. Either way, you may find yourself in the same destructive patterns over and over, with the fear that it will never be different.
It does not have to be this way, and the reason this keeps happening is not your fault.
You are not a failure of relationships. You do not have a broken picker. We are conditioned to seek relationships that feel familiar, even when familiar is painful. Together, we will unpack the relational template that is steering your choices, understand what keeps you stuck, and begin to discover who you are in relation to another.
Attachment work is much more than "becoming secure." It involves understanding the roles you have played throughout your life to maintain love and connection, and slowly putting down the burden of proving yourself worthy of it. It is about coming home to yourself in the presence of another person.
I use a variety of therapeutic methods to help you unravel the patterns that are keeping you stuck in your relationships so you can finally experience the connection you long for.
Change happens through relationship.
There is a myth in self-help culture that we have to "do the work" first and then go out and find a relationship — as if security can be developed in a vacuum. It cannot. There is no amount of solo therapeutic work that will fully prepare you for the vulnerability of real connection if you stay in isolation. The spirit of "love yourself first" is valuable, but only insofar as it is practiced in relationship.
The therapeutic relationship is the first step in changing your relationships. We use what happens between us, and the relationship you begin to build with yourself within that space, to soften the edges of vulnerability, so you can experience the connection you have always craved.
You do not have to do this alone.
Would you like more structure to this work?
I offer Understanding Your Relational Blueprint — an 8-week coaching program that moves beyond attachment labels and into the specific dynamics, roles, and nervous system responses that shape how you connect. Available to anyone, anywhere.
Frequently Asked Questions
Still have questions? Book a free 20-minute call and we can talk.
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Absolutely. Your attachment style is not a life sentence or a permanent personality trait; it is simply an adaptation. It is the blueprint your nervous system developed to try and stay safe and connected. Because it was learned, it can be unlearned. The goal isn't to become perfectly "secure" overnight, but to slowly build the capacity to tolerate connection without losing yourself in the process.
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Not at all. In fact, many people prefer to do this work when they are single because it provides the space to understand their patterns without the immediate pressure of navigating a partner's reactions. The work we do will change how you approach dating and connection moving forward.
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You don't need to know. The labels (anxious, avoidant, disorganized) are just shorthand for patterns of behavior. We won't spend our time obsessing over which category you fit into. Instead, we will look at exactly how you experience connection, what feels threatening to you, and what you do when you feel afraid.
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It is a real conversation, not an intake assessment. You share a little about what is bringing you in, I share a little about how I work, and we both get a sense of whether it feels like a good fit. There is no pressure to commit to anything. If I am not the right person for what you need, I will tell you honestly and help you find someone who is.